GOP Convention 2008: Working the Convention

GOP Convention 2008, Minneapolis, MN:

Day 1:
There's a life-size cardboard cutout of John McCain across the aisle. No one wants their picture taken with him. I shit you not.

I'm at a convention-like commercial event attached to the Republican National Convention.

Next to McCain there's a life-sized Barack Obama cutout. Children run up to the Obama cutout, pose ramrod straight and smile even before their parent's can get out their cameras out. Soccer moms beam brighter than Obama's thousand-watt smile as they surreptiously sidle up to him. This is a Republican event. What the hell is going on?

Wait! McCain has his fans. Er fan. A few pose right between the two men. But so far it's four families for the ebullient Obama, 1 middle aged woman for McCain. She could be a Hillary supporter.

The cardbard cutout McCain looks sternly at the viewer. He might be going for gravitas; but instead he just looks like a bird shit on his head. He ain't happy with the situation.

It also doesn't help that McCain is diminutive and frumpy and Obama is as tall and dapper. Are these guys even runing for the same office? McCain looks like a alcoholic grandpa stuck on vacation with his excitable and photo-crazy wife: "Take the damn picture already, Rose."

Obama looks like he's about to ballroom dance.

It costs 15 bucks to get in the door. Children cost 10. So either these Obama fans are totally lost and flush with money, or some Republicans will be voting Democrat. Crazy, I know.

Day 2:

They have more Presidents today. Cardbard cutouts. Life sized. Reagan, the Hollywood cowboy leans against a rail since yesterday though. You can almost see the straw hanging out of his mouth. But no one seems to notice him. Its like he's not even there. He's far away from the other presidents.

A life-sized George H. W. Bush is now present. And a second McCain figure is here too. So here's the tally: 1 Reagan, 1 Bush, 1 Obama, and 2 McCains. Both McCains look like they're gonna punch someone. Rose better snap that picture quick.

Now Bush is getting pictures taken.

I'm beginning to feel sorry for McCain: When we got here this morning a small plush elephant was mounted mischieviously on his head. Whoever did it meant well, I'm sure. But it didn't soften his image, it just made him look he was angry that a damned elephant was put on his head.